The truth will set you free

Sometimes my weird sense of humor outshines the shit-storm that is my life.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is keep your mouth shut and your eyes open. The TRUTH always comes out in the end.

Some people will throw dirt on your name and get mad when flowers grow from it.

I did not unlove you overnight. No, I unloved you in bits and pieces over time. I grew a new skin that you could never touch, a new heart that you could never break, and a new soul that you could never corrupt. This is how I unloved you... Slowly, painfully, But with no regrets.

Cutting people out of our lives doesn't mean we hate them. It means we respect ourselves.

You don't need to prove yourself to anyone, You're a human not a theorem.

In Isiah 46:4 God says: "I will sustain you and I will rescue you."

Just walk away to protect yourself

From: Your Pocket Therapist by Dr. Sherrie Campbell

75. Protecting Yourself

She says that "If someone needs to bring you down, they are already below you".

If another person can not accept you for who you are then that person is the one with the problem. NOT YOU!

When someone like that tries to bring you down, your natural human reaction will be to defend yourself or prove your value to that person.

Don't waste your time, it is pointless.

Protect your heart and don't sink to their level to make them feel more comfortable.

You don't need anybody's approval.

I had to learn the hard way that it is a waste of time and energy to try and deal with these types of people and especially because it is a very close and direct family member.

There is just never ever ever any one occasion that I can recall where I was not upset or uncomfortable or not unhappy when around this one person.

Boundaries are a taboo with this person. As a rule (and of course a boundary) I do not ever discuss Politics or Religion with anyone no matter if it is a colleague, friend or family member. I do not discuss these two topics for the specific reason that it ALWAYS causes conflict. And guess what, these topics WILL always be brought into conversations.

There is always something they say that just makes me feel that I am not living "up" to their standard.

I am always being criticized in some way or another.

Whether it is my choice of boyfriend, the fact that I am a single mother, or the way I had to work damn hard to take care of a child, my weight or any attempts I make to be healthier, or my choice in friends, the amount of time I spend with friends vs. this family member. There is ALWAYS something.

The time has come for me to make a choice, a hard one. But it has to be done.

I need happiness, I deserve happiness.

I need love, I deserve love.

I need peace in my life, I deserve peace in my life.

I need to be respected, I deserve to be respected.

I've also read Dr Sherrie Campbell's book : But it's your Family

The book was such a revelation to me that I just had to read more of her books.

 

I am now reading Dr Sherrie Campbell's latest book:

Adult Survivors of Toxic Family Members

All of the above books are available on Google Play Books.

I also found them on Amazon.

You can also find her Sherapy Podcast here:

Dr Sherrie Campbell is also available on Youtube and her video's are amazingly helpful

Embrace the Honey Life

• You cant control the things that happen to you, but you can control your reaction to them.
• Control your emotions or it will control you.
• Some people create their own storms and then get upset when it rains.
• Stop complaining, everyone who died yesterday thinks you're the lucky one.
• If you're not helping to make it right, then stop complaining about it being wrong.
• Dont complain about things you are not willing to change.
• If you see your glass as half empty, pour it into a smaller glass and stop bitching.
• You cant improve your life when you blame other people for your problems. That would mean that everyone else would have to change for your life to get better.
• When you blame others you give up your power to grow.
• Do by not doing sometimes. You give more mystery, self-control and dignity to the situation.
• Show up beautiful, show up classy and show up elegant and be quiet.
• Do by not doing because it will all get done and the results will be so profound. Love yourself enough to heal in quiet.
• You are not responsible for the programming you received in childhood. as an adult, you are 100% responsible for fixing it.
• When you know your own truth you become more confident.
• If someone throws a fit because you set boundaries, it's just more evidence that the boundary is needed.
• Healing doesn't mean the damage never existed. it means the damage no longer controls our lives.
• A strong woman knows she has enough strength for her journey.  But a woman of strength knows it is on her journey that she will become strong.
• Detachment is not that you should own nothing, but that nothing should own you.
• Detachment is letting go of the thoughts and emotions that create suffering. Once you can stop being so attached to your thoughts, you will experience tremendous relief, inner peace, and a pervading sense of joyful well-being.
• I don't have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness... It's right in front of me if I'm paying attention and practicing gratitude.
• Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what w have into enough. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home and a stranger into a friend.
• Today is a beautiful day simply because God made it.
• The less you respond to negative people, the more peaceful your life will become.
• You teach people how to TREAT YOU by what you allow, what you stop and what you reinforce.
• To respect yourself is to walk away from those who disrespect you.
• You cant force people to respect you, but you can refuse to tolerate their disrespect.
• When you are tired of explaining or fighting for yourself, you simply stop doing it. Because you reach the point of understanding it is useless.

Things I need to stop doing to gain peace in my life

Things I need to stop doing to gain peace in my life:

1. Pretend to be happy when I am not
2. Allowing negative people to steal my joy
3. To allow other people to control the direction of my life
4. Going along to get along
5. Allow anyone to disrespect me
6. Realis that I am not selfish when I take care of myself or protect myself from negativity
7. Discarding my boundaries to fit uncomfortably into other people's lives
8. Accepting and excusing toxic behavior because it is more comfortable than change
9. Wasting energy on one-sided relationships
10. Stop explaining myself. "NO" is a complete sentence
11. Stop allowing others to blame me for their short-comings or bad choices
12. Stop forgiving those that refuse to confess their wrongdoing and repent.
13. Abandoning myself, my integrity, my truth just to "fit in"
14. Stop being forced into discussions about topics I have repeatedly declined to discuss (politics and religion)
15. Allowing people to take advantage of my time and resources while they are being unproductive
16. Stop allowing people (especially family) to cross my boundaries

Time to relax and appreciate the wonder of nature

 Today I am grateful that we can help others while also helping ourselves.

We drove to Stilbaai to pick up a client and drive him back home.

The views along the road is breathtaking.

I just love how the sun reflects on the ocean.

God creates the most beautiful sceneries.

Just look at that....

Family is not always blood

 I am grateful for my crazy "in-laws". 

They always make me feel at home and comfortable.

We always have a great time together. 

There is always laughter, fun and joy.

They love unconditionally, as it should be.

A family is where your heart feels most at home 

because you are always wanted, 

always welcomed, 

always needed, 

always loved.